#like I want people to be able to afford the stuff I make bc it makes me happy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lulunothulu · 5 months ago

Note

There's not many Glen Powell stories could you do one for me plz:)

So Glen and Reader have been dating about a year. she's not in the entertainment industry she is just a RN he ask her to join him for the press tour for Twitters overseas. She goes with Glen to do some interviews and over hears a conversation where people think she is just with Glen for the money and everyone sees it. She's never asked Glen for money or help but he does occasionally do things for her out of love. She starts to pick up alot of extra shifts at the hospital and dip into her savings to afford all that stuff for the press tour to the point she's passes out one day after working 3 doubles in a row. Glen shows up and ask why she has been working so much and she comes clean about what she heard and how she dipped into her saving to afford the trip. He comforts her and makes her feel better and let's her know he knows she loves him for him and not his money and he asked her to come on the trip bc he wanted her there and he loves her and he loves to spoil her that's not gonna change.

I absolutely LOVE this one 😭 as a former ER worker I live for this.

“Just ordinary”

Glen Powell x Reader

“So Glen,” the interviewer asks. “Who are you bringing to the London premiere?”

Glen smiles, looking behind the interviewer to where you stand with his publicist behind the stage.

“I’m bringing my girlfriend, Y/N,” he smiles, winking in your direction.

You make a mental note to check how much flights would cost but smile back at him.

“Ooo! What does she do? Is she an actress?”

“She’s actually an ER nurse,” he boasts. “I’m so lucky to have her in my life and to be able to feel so safe with her around me.”

“I bet,” they say. “Having someone there to nurse you to health even if you’re not sick must be so rewarding.”

“It is!” He beams. “I love that she takes care of me and makes sure I stay healthy. It also helps when I get injured on the job.”

“That’s so sweet,” they tell him. “Well, that’s all the time we have today. Make sure you catch Twisters in theaters near you!”

After the interview, Glen walks up to where you’re waiting and interlaces his fingers with yours before pulling you close to kiss you deeply.

“We’re almost done, I just have to do some mini interviews outside and then we can head home.”

You nod, and smile up at him. You knew the drill. After an interview inside, there would be fans all over the place, begging for pictures, as well as other interviewers waiting outside.

You follow him out the building and mentally prepare yourself for the screens and flashing lights of cameras. Next to you, Glen holds your hand tightly—not only making sure you’re next to him, but also safe. Glen hands you off to his mom who’s waiting behind him before walking up to some fans.

You smile at Cyndy. “I don’t know how you do it all the time. It’s so loud.”

She laughs. “Yeah I don’t know either. But to see how happy he gets when they all flock to him is the highlight of it all.”

You smile. You knew exactly what that feeling was like. Seeing Glen in his element and interacting with the people that got him to where he is now, felt amazing to watch.

———

You both follow him down the line of people, chatting to each other until you hear someone to the left say something that makes your blood turn cold.

“Yeah, I don’t see what he sees in her,” a teenage girl says to her friend. “She must be searching for money or something because there’s no way Glen would be with someone so ordinary like her. She’s not even that pretty.”

“Yeah, I agree. She seems like such a golddigger. Like where did she even come from?” Her friend responds.

You stop in your tracks at that, Cyndy’s brows furrow in their direction and she wraps an arm around your waist.

“Don’t listen to them. That’s just jealousy talking,” she whispers in your ear.

You only nod, scared if you spoke, you’d cry. Instead, you and Cyndy walk toward the car that’s meant to drive you all back to Glen’s house and wait for Glen there.

By the time he joins you all, you’re barely speaking and holding it together. On the car ride back to his place, you text your charge nurse, Kathy, and ask her to put you in the schedule for the whole week.

Kathy: are you sure? That’s a lot of hours and you’ll be exhausted by the end of it all.

You: trust me, I need the distraction and the money. I’ll be fine.

Kathy: alright, you’re set up for the whole week.

You sigh to yourself, earning a light nudge and smile from Glen.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

You smile up at him and lean onto his shoulder. “Yeah, just got a text that I’ll be working all week.”

“Oh no,” he says. “Can you find a replacement?

“Unfortunately no,” you tell him. “We’ve been so short staffed, they’d barely let me leave for lunch.”

“Hopefully all that overtime means you can come with me to London next week.”

You only smile and nod.

The thing about dating Glen that you never got used to was the way that he’d pay for everything you two did. You knew there was an imbalance when it came to money but never brought it up because he’d always been so happy to pay for everything. But after hearing what those two girls were saying…. Your pride, or something like it, felt like it was wrong to let it continue to happen.

You didn’t want to seem like a gold digger after all.

With this week of twelve hour shifts, you’d be able to afford the ticket, maybe some souvenirs?

Maybe I should text Kathy to set me up for sixteen hour shifts all week.

You text her when you get back to Glen’s place.

———

By the time Wednesday rolls around, you know asking for a week of work plus adding four more hours to your shifts was a mistake.

Glen tried to stay up and wait for you, but he’d be fast asleep in bed by the time you got out of the shower.

On top of not being able to really see him, you yourself were exhausted. Your body becoming so tired, even sitting down was hard because you’d fall asleep. So instead of sitting down during your shift, you’d stand.

At the end of your shift on Wednesday, you could barely keep your eyes open on the drive back home. And when you did get home, you didn’t even bother getting out of your scrubs before collapsing onto the couch and falling asleep.

“This isn’t normal, mom,” you hear Glen say faintly. “She’s working herself to death and I’m just…I’m worried for her.”

The next morning, you rub your eyes when your alarm blares in your ear. Sitting up from the couch, you race to the shower, peeling off your scrubs from the night before, and quickly showering to wake yourself up.

When you step out of the bathroom, you find Glen standing there with a cup of coffee ready for you.

“Good morning, baby,” he says, kissing you.

“Did I wake you?” You ask, taking the cup and sipping.

“No, I’ve been waking up early to make sure you get everything you need for work,” he tells you.

“Thank you,” you smile. You look down at your watch and sigh. “I have to get going.”

“I packed you lunch and extra clothes so that you don’t have to shower when you get home. Maybe you’ll sleep in the bed tonight?” His eyes are hopeful and you can’t help but feel so bad.

He’s doing all of this for you and yet you’re trying to avoid him—to an extent.

“I’ll try to,” you tell him. “I’ve just been so tired to walk up the stairs.”

“Then I’ll set something up for us before you get home,” he tells you. He kisses you before adding, “I’ll see you later.”

———

You’re halfway into your shift when you get the trauma of the day, maybe even the year.

You’re running, trying to grab the necessary supplies you need for the CPR that’s on its way when you suddenly feel the world begin to spin out from under you.

One second you’re stuffing you pockets with extra flushes and vials for bloodwork, the next your vision is blurring and going black.

When you finally wake up, you’re at the hospital still but in a room. The beeping of the monitor next to you grounds you in reality enough look around the room. Glen sits in a chair on the other side of you, worry and fear painted all over his face.

“Glen?” You croak.

“Oh my god,” he says, turning you and grabbing your hand. “Are you feeling okay?”

“For the most part,” you mumble. “What happened?”

“Kathy told me you fainted from exhaustion,” he tells you. “You shouldn’t have been working so many hours so close together. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt. You’re lucky someone was there to break your fall.”

He sighs, running his hand through his hair before asking, “What were you thinking working so many hours for so long?”

“I don’t know,” you lie.

“Yes you do. Tell me,” he urges.

You sigh, rubbing your eyes before looking at him. “I can’t afford to go to London.”

“I’ll pay for your ticket,” he quickly says.

“Glen, I don’t want you to.” This was going to be hard. “I want to pay for myself.”

“I don’t mind doing it, baby.” He searches your face before adding, “There’s more, isn’t there?”

“Yes,” you answer. You squeeze your eyes shut before opening them and taking his hand in yours again. “I don’t want you to think I’m a gold digger.”

“Why would I think that?”

“Because you pay for everything!” You exclaim. “I don’t think it’s fair that you spend money on me and I can’t do the same for you.”

Glen smiles at you, kissing the inside of your wrist. “Y/N, there’s nothing that makes me happier than paying for everything. If I get to spoil you by taking you to London or paying for our dinners and rent, then that means I’m doing my job. I never want you to feel like you’re freeloading or being a gold digger around me.”

He tilts your head back to face him completely before continuing. “Baby don’t ever feel like that’s what you are because you’re not. I’m so grateful to do it for you. In fact, I love doing it.”

“Are you sure?” You ask.

“Very,” he tells you. “So you can stop with the extra shifts. I already talked to Kathy about giving the rest of the week off.”

Tears prick your eyes as you pull him in for a kiss.

“I love you so much.”

“And I love you more,” Glen says. “But don’t do that again. Please?”

You laugh. “I promise I won’t.”

#lulu's requests mail #glen powell #fanfic #glen powell x you #glen powell fic #glen powell x reader #glenpowelledit

442 notes · View notes

tagamantra · 11 months ago

Text

realities, maximalism,and the need for big book™️

some gubat banwa design thoughts vomit: since the beginning of its development i've kind of been enraptured with trying to really go for "fiction-first" storytelling because PbtA games really are peak roleplaying for me, but as i wrote and realized that a lot of "fiction first" doesn't work without a proper sort of fictional foundation that everyone agrees on. this is good: this is why there are grounding principles, genre pillars, and other such things in many PbtA games--to guide that.

broken worlds is one of my favs bc of sheer vibes

Gubat Banwa didn't have much in that sense: sure, I use wuxia and xianxia as kind of guideposts, but they're not foundational, they're not pillars of the kind of fiction Gubat Banwa wants to raise up. there wasn't a lot in the sense of genre emulation or in the sense of grounding principles because so much of Gubat Banwa is built on stuff most TTRPG players haven't heard about. hell, it's stuff squirreled away in still being researched academic and anthropological circles, and thanks to the violence of colonialism, even fellow filipinos and seasians don't know about them

this is what brought me back to my ancient hyperfixations, the worlds of Exalted, Glorantha, Artesia, Fading Suns... all of them have these huge tomes of books that existed to put down this vast sprawling fantasy world, right? on top of that are the D&D campaign settings, the Dark Suns and the Eberrons. they were preoccupied in putting down setting, giving ways for people to interact with the world, and making the world alive as much as possible.

one of my main problems with gubat banwa was trying to convey this world that i've seen, glimpsed, dreamed of. this martial fantasy world of rajas and lakans, sailendras and tuns, satariyas and senapatis and panglimas and laksamanas and pandai... its a world that didn't really exist yet, and most references are steeped in either nationalism or lack of resources (slowly changing, now)

i didn't want to fall back into the whole gazeteer tourist kind of shit when it came to writing GB, but it necessitated that the primary guidelines of Gubat Banwa were set down. my approach to it was trying to instill every aspect of the text, from the systems to the fluff text to the way i wrote to the way things were phrased, with the essence of this world i'm trying to put forward. while i wrote GB mainly for me and fellow SEAsian people, economically my main market were those in the first world countries that could afford to buy the book. grokking the book was always going to be severely difficult for someone that didn't have similar cultures, or are uninterested in the complexities of human culture. thus why GB had to be a big book.

in contemporary indie ttrpg spaces (where I mostly float in, though i must admit i pay more attention to SEAsia spaces than the usual US spaces) the common opinion is that big books like Exalted 3e are old hat, or are somewhat inferior to games that can cram their text into short books. i used to be part of that camp--in capitalism, i never have enough time, after all. however, the books that do go big, that have no choice to go big, like Lancer RPG, Runequest, Mage, Exalted are usually the ones that have something really big it needs to tell you, and they might be able to perform the same amount of text-efficient bursting at the seams flavor writing but its still not enough.

thats what happened to GB, which I wanted to be, essentially, a PbtA+4e kind of experience, mechanically speaking. i very soon abandoned those titles when i delved deeper into research, incorporated actual 15th century divination tools in the mechanics, injected everything with Martial Arts flavor as we found our niche

all of this preamble to say that no matter how light i wanted to go with the game, i couldnt go too light or else people won't get it, or i might end up writing 1000 page long tome books explaining every detail of the setting so people get it right. this is why i went heavy on the vibes: its a ttrpg after all. its never gonna be finished.

i couldnt go too light because Gubat Banwa inherently exists on a different reality. think: to many 3 meals a day is the norm and the reality. you have to eat 3 meals a day to function properly. but this might just be a cultural norm of the majority culture, eventually co opted by capitalism to make it so that it can keep selling you things that are "breakfast food" or "dinner food" and whatnot. so its reality to some, while its not reality to others. of course, a lot of this reality-talk pertains mostly to social--there is often a singular shared physical reality we can usually experience*

Gubat Banwa has a different fabric of reality. it inherently has a different flow of things. water doesn't go down because of gravity, but because of the gods that make it move, for example. bad things happen to you because you weren't pious or you didn't do your rituals enough and now your whole community has to suffer. atoms aren't a thing in gb, thermodynamics isn't a real thing. the Laws of Gubat Banwa aren't these physical empirical things but these karmic consequent things

much of the fiction-first movement has a sort of "follow your common sense" mood to it. common sense (something also debatable among philosophers but i dont want to get into that) is mostly however tied to our physical and social realities. but GB is a fantasy world that inherently doesn't center those realities, it centers realities found in myth epics and folk tales and the margins of colonized "civilization", where lightnings can be summoned by oils and you will always get lost in the woods because you don't belong there.

so Gubat Banwa does almost triple duty: it must establish the world, it must establish the intended fiction that arises from that world, and then it must grant ways to enforce that fiction to retain immersion--these three are important to GB's game design because I believe that that game--if it is to not be a settler tourist bonanza--must force the player to contend with it and play with it within its own terms and its own rules. for SEAsians, there's not a lot of friction: we lived these terms and rules forever. don't whistle at night on a thursday, don't eat meat on Good Friday, clap your hands thrice after lighting an incense stick, don't make loud noise in the forests. we're born into that [social] reality

this is why fantasy is so important to me, it allows us to imagine a different reality. the reality (most of us) know right now (i say most of us because the reality in the provinces, the mountains, they're kinda different) is inherently informed by capitalist structures. many people that are angry at capitalist structures cannot fathom a world outside capitalist structures, there are even some leftists and communists that approach leftism and revolution through capitalism, which is inherently destructive (its what leads to reactionaries and liberalism after all). fantasy requires that you imagine something outside of right now. in essence read Ursula K Le Guin

i tweeted out recently that you could pretty easily play 15-16th century Luzon or Visayas with an OSR mechanic setting and William Henry Scott's BARANGAY: SIXTEENTH CENTURY PHILIPPINE CULTURE AND SOCIETY, and I think that's purely because barebones OSR mechanics stuff fits well with the raiding and adventuring that many did in 15-16th century Luzon/Visayas, but a lot of the mechanics wont be comign from OSR, but from Barangay, where you learn about the complicated marriage customs, the debt mechanics, the social classes and stratum...

so thats why GB needs to be a (relatively) big book, and why I can contend that some books need to be big as well--even if their mechanics are relatively easy and dont need more than that, the book, the game, might be trying to relay something even more, might be trying to convey something even more than that. artesia, for example, has its advancements inherently tied to its Tarot Cards, enforcing that the Arcana guides your destiny. runquest has its runes magic, mythras (which is kinda generic) has pretty specific kinds of magic systems that immediately inform the setting. this is why everything is informed by something (this is a common Buddhist principle, dependent arising). even the most generic D&D OSR game will have the trappings of the culture and norms of the one that wrote and worked on it. its written from their reality which might not necessarily be the one others experience. that's what lived experience is, after all

*live in the provinces for a while and you'll doubt this too!

#gubat banwa #ttrpg #filipino #fantasy #writing #rpg #gamedev #dnd

389 notes · View notes

midnight--sadness · 1 month ago

Note

had an idea—early 2010 games, like 2012/2013. gi-hun is VERY newly postpartum and looking for ways to make any money for his baby. in-ho doesn’t really give a shit about anything and is just looking for a semi-honorable way to die bc of the death of his last mate or some other circumstance.

I think it would actually be really interesting for in-ho’s character especially, because we know he’s very sensitive to things like pregnancy and children. I think it would be sick to see how he would react to postpartum stuff, especially considering he never actually got to live through it. The development of him going borderline suicidal to “I have to protect you, no matter what.” wondering how he would react to gi-hun’s postpartum heavy bleeding, difficulty walking/being physically active, etc.

I had this really vivid idea of gi-hun being insistent he can’t let his milk dry up, because if they do vote to get out and he leaves with nothing, he won’t be able to afford formula. Idk just. The thought of gi-hun in the bathroom w in-ho rubbing his back/holding his hand while he has to waste everything into the toilet or paper towels because the pressure gets to be too painful. (I thought abt in-ho “assisting”, i says horny-ly, but i think it would take away from the narrative)

so basically it would leave in-ho w/ very difficult decisions like

a) gotta kill a shitton of people to make sure everyone votes out so gi-hun can get away

b) kill a lot of people to ensure him winning, at the expense of his own life (which is worst case scenario for him, bc he LOVES milky bbygirl and wants to stay with him/care for him on the outside)

c) idk some other scenarios I haven’t thought of. asking to hear other perspectives/thoughts

note: gi-hun’s baby wouldn’t be in-ho’s, would be some jackass alpha’s who abandoned him w/ it because he was in debt or couldn’t accept responsibility. Another motivator for in-hun, he’s got a vendetta against the mf for essentially forcing baby mama gi-hun into dying to save his own baby—basically same thing that happened to in-ho’s wife different flavor

ooohhhhh i love this!!

i'm assuming that gihun's baby would be gayeong.

in this case, maybe inho signed up for the games but before he could actually be picked up and taken to the island, his wife and child both died. and now he kinda has to go to the games anyway since he cant pull out (lol), maybe even to repay the money that he was given by that unknown criminal.

so there they are, an alpha grieving his mate and child and a newly postpartum omega.... the possiblities are so delicious!!

i like to think that the first game is always red light, green light because it eliminates a large ammount of players (kind of like the cornucopia bloodbath in the hunger games). so, inho is there, considering not even making his way across the field when gihun's scent reaches him. he smells sweet, like honey and milk, clearly a new mother and inho's alpha instincts immediately put him on alert. maybe he is especially sensitive since his body was preparing to be a father and he needed to immediately pick up the scent of his new pup (or whatever idk). and he sees how gihun is moving, hand clasped to his belly, still sore from birth and thinks "i need to protect him".

gihun basically becomes the reason inho actually tries to survive the games. taking care of him calms inho down, makes him "docile" in a sense, and even when gihun is stressed and on the verge of a breakdown bc it isnt normal for omegas to be separated from their babies so soon after birth, inho helps him relax, telling him that he will do anything to get gihun to see his baby again and gihun, our sweet girl, says that inho has to get out alive as well so he can meet gayeong.

inho has no issues with killing other players if necessary, doing anything to ensure gihun leaves during the next vote. but as the money piles up people get greedier and not even their lives are worth much....

if they stay for most of the games, i can see inho helping gihun with his milk is a more traditional way, since breastfeeding helps the uterus contract and lowers general pains and aches in the body. it would kinda relax inho as well, since helping this omega would make his alpha hindebrain feel proud to be useful.

when they get out, both richer than ever, gihun introduces inho to gayeong (who had been staying with his mother). gihun and inho bond and inho becomes gayeong's new father and like two years later he gets gihun pregnant with twins 🫶🫶

#abo dynamics #seong gi-hun #hwang in-ho #inhun #457 #ginho #squid game #asks #yapping 4ever

44 notes · View notes

remcycl333 · 2 years ago

Note

i really like when u talk abt ur own experiences when dealing with all this!! could u expand more on how u manifested ur apartment? like what ur daily life looked like, etc. bc im in a similar situation w a mentally exhausting family and im trying to get tf out lol

TW: narcissistic/co-dependent parent

yeah! so my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me alone with a narcissistic parent, so i knew i really wanted to move out and live on my own. but i had negative circumstances. for instance my parent was really co-dependent, which led to them never letting me get my drivers license or a job. even when i was 20-21. plus this was during lockdown so i didn't really have the ability to learn how to drive from other means. plus along with not being able to drive and not having the money to afford living on my own, i knew my parent would never let me move out bc they didn't want to be alone. so i was really depressed because my situation felt very hopeless.

but then i remembered the power of manifestation. i had manifested an sp at this point and other things, such as appearance changes and money here and there, but this was a "big" manifestation. big meaning that so many dominoes had to fall in just the right places, so to speak. for instance i was nervous that i'd wake up in a new apartment and not be able to pay the rent to live there and have to move out. so i was unsure if i should manifest money first, and then manifest the apartment. but what i was imagining as my end was me in my apartment with more than enough money to survive, so i decided not to manifest in steps.

i was triggered a LOT at first, bc like i mentioned i was dealing with a co-dependent narcissistic parent. like sometimes they'd talk about how i'd still be living at home till i was 25+ and the idea made me go absolutely crazy. i went through months of being miserable at the idea, thinking about how all my peers were living on their own and not having to deal with the shit i did. but eventually i just got so fed up and i decided i just needed to go completely in, because i had been putting off really applying for the longest time.

so what i did was make a note in my notes app describing my dream apartment, and i included pics i found on Pinterest of different features i wanted in my apartment. like what i wanted the kitchen and bathroom to look like, the specific vanity i wanted, etc.

then whenever i thought about it, i'd tell myself i was already there and the apartment was mine. similarly to Abdullah slamming the door on Neville and saying "you are in Barbados", any time i wondered how it would happen or think about how it hadn't reflected yet, i'd tell myself "you are in your dream apartment." it was a reminder that i wouldn't be wondering any of those things, or worrying or doubting, if i was already in my dream apartment. and i already was there in my imagination! so there was no room for me to be dwelling on stuff like that.

throughout the day, i liked to retreat to my imagination when i had time and felt upset about my 3D. i'd do so by imagining that my surroundings were different. for instance i had a picture saved of what i wanted my shower to look like (it was always my dream to have a really really nice bathroom bc my shower has always been a safe space for me of sorts lmao) so when i was in the shower, i'd close my eyes and imagine i was in that shower i had saved from Pinterest. i also did this in the kitchen when i was cleaning or cooking, and while i laid in bed at night before falling asleep.

i also never really let people come over to my house when i lived with my parent(s) bc my co-dependent narcissistic parent would always come up with some completely insane and random reason why they didn't like that friend and i'd never hear the end of it. so i'd have inner convos with myself about how i was excited my friend was coming over later and i'd come up with different things we'd be doing. this was another way i liked to fulfill myself in my imagination.

whenever i was interacting with my parent, as i way to dismiss my 3D, i just pretended i was visiting home and that's why i was with them/at their house. it helped me remind myself that being there wasn't permanent.

this manifestation took me a couple of months, as i was triggered a lot. eventually, after fulfilling myself enough and finding solace in my imagination whenever i felt bad, i was triggered less and less by my 3d and circumstances. i also manifested my parent being chiller and blowing up a lot less.

the final thing i was missing was that i was in a neutral state a lot and i thought because i wasn't upset by my 3d that meant i wasn't in the state of lack. i just had this epiphany recently on my twitter, so it took me a while to correct this issue because i didn't even know it was an issue. i had that epiphany well after successfully manifesting my apartment.

the neutral state was me being like "oh my 3d isn't too bad i kinda like chilling in my room unbothered." so i wasn't upset at my 3d, but i was still also acknowledging i didn't have what i wanted. this was fixed when i started imagining my surroundings as my dream apartment, like i mentioned a few paragraphs up.

and then one day, i woke up and my surroundings felt different. i sleep with a sleeping mask on, so when i wake up and open my eyes, it's still pitch black. but i felt the air around me was different, and the sounds around me were different. like the sound of my ceiling fan in my room was different. then i took off my sleeping mask and i was in my new room, in my new apartment!

it was kinda spooky at first im ngl. at first i thought i was dreaming, but i wasn't (i checked). then i just explored the apartment! i was paranoid i was gonna find someone in my apartment or something 😭 but the apt was exactly how i wanted it to look, and i had plenty of money in my bank account to cover rent and bills and food! and i've been living here ever since with virtually 0 problems :)

449 notes · View notes

ginho001 · 1 month ago

Text

so basically it would leave in-ho w/ very difficult decisions like

a) gotta kill a shitton of people to make sure everyone votes out so gi-hun can get away

b) kill a lot of people to ensure him winning, at the expense of his own life (which is worst case scenario for him, bc he LOVES milky bbygirl and wants to stay with him/care for him on the outside)

c) idk some other scenarios I haven’t thought of. asking to hear other perspectives/thoughts

#I put this in an anonymous ask on someone’s blog but decided to put it here bc I ain’t scared any fuckin more #ginho #repost w ideas/add ons bc I might actually write this tbh #457 #squid game #squid game 457 #in ho #gi hun #gi hun x in ho #abo dynamics #writing ideas

24 notes · View notes

apprenticestanheight · 9 months ago

Note

would you be able to write amanda with a fem reader who wants to be courted? not like actual marriage courting but she likes the romantics and she’s not for casual stuff. if that makes any sense. thank you :)

Amanda Young x fem! romantic! reader headcanons

Hi anon!! This sat in my inbox too long and then it sat in my drafts too long and now that I have been forced to take a break from crocheting (I look down when I crochet and my neck is so stiff I can't move it without pain) and also because I rewatched saw III last week, I finally got the motivation to finish this one up! I'm sorry it took so long, I've been demotivated for a hell of a long time and writing has been tough.

Fic type - this one is just fluff

Warnings - none

Amanda isn't like you about the romantics or the courting stuff--she generally views romance as something that can happen organically, at least until she's like,, fully invested in your relationship.

she, despite her own initial feelings, will go all out for you bc she really does like you and will put in the effort for people she cares about.

She will take on extra hours at work just to be able to afford to take you out to nice places and to be so romantic that it would make even the most smitten couples vomit.

she's a lot like you in terms of your desires--not with the courting, but like, the devotion--and that becomes apparent maybe five or six months in, despite the fact that you'd both agreed it wouldn't be casual from the very beginning.

six months down and you're a fixture in her life that she can't really imagine being without, and you're the same with her. Nothing about your relationship is close to casual and six months in, discussions of moving in together start up.

Right out the gate it's agreed she'll move into your apartment, and she does so in like. a week max. She's packing her shit into like three boxes on Sunday morning and fully moved in by Friday night.

side tangent--I feel like she packs very lightly, just takes all of her clothes and some of her other stuff that's sentimental and then just tosses or sells the rest of it. Most of, if not everything she owns and actively cares about can fit into three boxes and maybe one backpack (which would primarily serve it's purpose in like, a small tablet, a laptop, a few notebooks and charging cords + maybe a pair of headphones or wired earbuds or smth)

and maybe a year or so in, things are so good!! People that know the two of you well enough to know you as more than very close best friends will often remark that a year gone you two act like you've been together for ten.

All in all, no matter how long the relationship lasts (which is like. all time or until amandas death, depending on whether or not you believe she could've faked her death or smth) it's very sweet goings on. You two are smitten from the beginning and stay that way until the end.

#amanda young #amanda young x reader #amanda young x fem! reader #saw (2004)

43 notes · View notes

inchidentally · 1 year ago

Text

never realized there was a similar Oscar interview to Max's and I'm probably late to this but interesting how Lando's and Oscar's dads weren't able to afford to pursue racing themselves but ended up being able to comfortably fund their sons:

Also, my grandad on both sides of the family (so, my mum’s dad and my dad’s dad), were both mechanics and have both followed motorsport for years, so it was always in the family but my grandparents didn’t have enough money to fund my dad. He actually used to race BMX bikes and couldn’t really afford motorsport, so I’m the first in the family to actually have the first real step into motorsport rather than just watching from the side lines.

“My dad was a racing fan,” admits Norris of his father, Adam Norris. “He loved everything about Formula 1 and racecars, but he didn’t get a chance to do it when he was growing up. It was too expensive, and he couldn’t afford it. - x

and while that in itself isn't uncommon I do find it unique that Oscar's dad gave him the fair ultimatum of 'if you choose to continue racing in the UK you'll need to go to boarding school bc I can't abandon the rest of my family' and Lando made a pact with his dad to never buy his way onto an F1 team. neither of the dads were willing to do 'whatever it takes' to make their sons' dreams come true - sort of a, if you want something that's so incredibly hard to reach then you've got to prove that you really wan it. and if not, then just come home.

idk the way that both their dads are so physically affectionate with them and are the ones to travel to see them but !! there's no toxic masculinity and no pushiness with their sons' careers. (I love that Oliver just decided to peace out of racing and it was no big deal, even though he was incredibly good) very much an expectation instilled in them that to earn such rarefied careers the boys have to do it on their own steam (Oscar's dad was open about how the costs for F3 and F2 were already getting too much for them and Mark stepping in to get sponsors saved the day).

that and the fact that Lando and Oscar individually and now together never had it instilled in them to motivate themselves by being antagonistic to their teammates/competitors. they're both still good friends with a lot of guys from their feeder series teams. the lack of toxicity definitely comes at least from the start from the dads setting an example.

like it's very weird for me A Poor to be talking about this stuff sympathetically but I do know The Rich at least in a few people and esp for children born to money it's Just Different. but good principles and appreciating privilege and immense good fortune are honestly even more important in children of wealth and it's good to see all of that was at work for Oscar and Lando from their families - and even more important that it comes from the dads in such a male dominated environment.

#inchidentallyanessay #landoscar #I also love that their moms and sisters aren't expected to uproot their lives or lose out bc their brothers wanted to chase a dream #the love and security is there but that's not their dream #and they've got their own lives to lead #op lore #ln lore

91 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

Note

WIBTA for telling the blunt truth to my roommate, that shes immature, irresponsible, and rude?

[-.-] < so I can recognize

so I (20) have three roommates, A(20), B(21 or 22), and C(20). We all attend the same college. I have lived with A for 2 years, but we only started living with B and C in fall 2023. so far there have been some issues, and most of them revolve around interacting with C. C has a cat, and they keep the litterbox in their room of our apartment, so they always have their door open. This itself isnt really a problem, but I feel like its eroding the distinction between common space and their personal space for them. Often when there is another conversation happening at the table or on the couch, C will come out of their room, sit on the couch, and watch loud videos on their phone without headphones. Then, they will hear a small part of our conversation, react in TOTAL shock and awe, demand we recap the last 5-10 minutes of conversation to catch them up, then go right back to their video. On another occasion, I was talking with either A or B as well as C, when C said they were overstimulated and needed some quiet time (no problem with that, it happens) so they were going to put in their headphones and. stay in the living room on the couch. instead of going to their room.

They also will completely derail conversations into complete dead ends and traumadumping. I was driving, C was in the passenger seat, and B and our friend G(18 or 19 iirc) were in the back. we were chatting about our parents being silly and making harmless fun of us at various points, and C multiple times said "we're not talking about times my parents took away phones bc Trauma!" like. If you dont want to talk about it DONT BRING IT UP. C could have chimed in w a time their friend did something like that and it would be fine! but instead they latched onto the parent part. They do this fairly often, and it makes it really hard to have a conversation where we casually mention our childhoods, bc its always a minefield w C, as they will make a point to bring up that they lacked the circumstances for whatever experience we are talking about, either due to bad relationships w parents or due to growing up poor.

On top of all this, they also are not financially in a good place. They routinely dont have money for food and end up eating mostly communal stuff. Sometimes when they are low on money I will end up buying something communal just so they will stop carrying on. IMO if they are in that sort of financial situation they shouldnt have gotten a cat, bc I honestly dont think they can afford it. tbh I feel like they pretty much live on the cheese and tortillas I buy, and i'm starting to feel the financial stress of it.

They are constantly making every interaction about themselves in ways that make it really hard, even when they arent even part of the conversation.

Repeatedly i've wanted to tell them that they dont have to be involved in everything, and that they dont have to always be talking or generating noise. That when other people are talking, they need to either contribute constructively to the conversation, wait their turn, or at the very least stop and apologize when they interrupt someone instead of talking right over them for minutes at a time. And that its not our responsibility to help them when they are low on money, that maybe they shouldnt have gotten a cat if they werent able to financially support it, and also that it shouldnt be our (me, A and B)'s job to walk on egg shells bc they have emotional outbursts over incredibly minor things (they do take mood stabilizers and have a disorder that effects their mood, but that doesnt mean its ok that they will sometimes seem really angry and aggressive out of absolutely nowhere, yelling swears with no provocation).

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

75 notes · View notes

max-nicoxfandom · 6 months ago

Text

Some trauma/whump/abuse scenarios for you, because your character can be traumatized without having the literal joker for a parent. Like not all abuse is so outward, I would argue that most abuse looks more like this.

Feel free to add your own, this is just stuff I've experienced

Yelling. I don't mean being yelled at. I mean a child being in a household where their guardian is always stressed and always yelling. It puts your body in fight or flight mode for all of eternity, trust

Sex and other adult topics being discussed with or around a child before they can understand what they're talking about

In the same vein, adults talking about a child while right in front of their face, and not caring what they hear or believing that they don't understand what they're hearing (they always do)

Gaslighting. Phrases like "you dreamt that" "you're being too sensitive" "that never happened" "don't lie"(while telling the truth)

Guardians not supporting the child's interests, or even down right denouncing them, whether they do it by taking the interest away or insulting the child for participating or some secret third thing

Misplaced anger/adult taking out anger on the child

Food scarcity, specifically by refusing to buy food that a picky eater would eat, or not having enough money to keep food on the table

In a similar vein, buying luxury items like game systems, new clothes, TV's, etc, while not being able to afford to put food on the table (and if you want to be even cooler the guardian will make the child feel bad for complaining about not having basic needs met by pointing out all of their luxury items they've been bought, double points if the child didn't want or ask for any of it)

Being treated as a burden, or saying things like "you're too/so expensive" "you're so needy" "you're too spoiled"

Guardian A trying to turn their child against guardian B, making themselves look like the better caretaker or better person.

Guardian who treats their child as a friend, or overall not having enough boundaries between parent and child

Emotional absents. Being there, but never engaging with their child. On the flip side, forcing their kid to participate in something bc the guardian likes it, even if the child hates it

Parentifying their child or forcing them to take care of their household in an adult manner, like helping raise the other children, housework above their skill level, paying bills, etc

Lack of privacy. A guardian telling people about something the child doesn't want people to know about. It could be an embarrassing story, it could be about their sexuality, it could be something that sounds harmless

Physical abuse but only while inebriated, and being (what's at least perceived as) a good parent otherwise

Preventing a child from sleeping while they're tired/extreme sleep deprivation

Repeatedly breaking their trust, like not doing things they promised they would do, saying things they don't mean, bring people who don't like their child around their child, ect

Name calling

Feel free to add your own, or hop into my askbox !! It is always open !!

33 notes · View notes

moonyasnow · 2 months ago

Text

The ways in which my OCs are neurodivergent

Bc this is a legitimately big part of who they are as people and I'm not gonna let you forget! My OCs are neurodivergent, some of them mentally ill, and I'm very open about that fact; I really LOVE talking about it actually ^^

I love sharing things like this, especially bc just normalizing stuff is a big step toward wider acceptance of it! And as an autistic person with ADHD, Tourettes and BPD, my own perspective is just so neurodivergent to a degree where I don't really know how to write characters who aren't at least somewhat neurodivergent

Plus...way too few people seem to be actually aware of what a lot of these things actually entail for the people who actually are/have it :,) So wherever I can, I wanna work to try to change that!

Edit:

@babyghoul138 CRAP I FORGOT TO TAG YOU FOR VERONICA—

Tomoe

She's autistic.

You might not be able to see it easily, because she's very good at masking it, but she is.

But you can still see it very clearly when she starts talking about history! Because once she starts, she gets so overwhelmed with excitement about being able to share everything she knows of one of her favorite things in the world that the mask just sorta falls off.

That's a big reason why she's always wanted to be a history teacher; to be able to share that excitement with others, and have an excuse to talk about it and teach others all her favorite historical facts every day.

Btw I'm saying 'is autistic' instead of something like 'has autism' because there is no way to separate the person from the autism, if that makes sense. Autism makes up so much of who an autistic person is (the way we think, the way we grow up, the things we like and are drawn to, how we interact with others on a fundamental leve, etc) that there would be nothing left if you 'took away' the autism.

Irina

She has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Since idk how much the general population knows about BPD, here are the symptoms (taken from helpguide.org)

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

Unclear or shifting self-image. When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.

Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body.

The way it manifests in her is she has the 'Discouraged' subtype

There are 4 commonly recognized subtypes: Discouraged, Petulant, Self-Destructive and Impulsive. They come from which of the symptoms of BPD a particular person with it shows more prominently.

For irina, this means that she suffers more from the symptoms of 'fear of abandonment', and she directs all her negative feelings inside at HERSELF rather than at others. For this reason, this kind can also be called 'quiet' Borderline since it can be hard to tell it's there at all with no outward signs

The Discouraged Subtype is most often characterized by: Avoidant, depressive or dependent behaviors, an intense- sometimes even crippling- fear of abandonment, and always directing negative emotions inward and believing they are at fault. Can also be desrcibed to be operating in 'abandoned child' mode; wanting to do anything to avoid a percieved abandonment.

What specifically causes BPD isn't 100% known, but it's thought to be a mix of childhood experiences and genetics.

I'll talk more about the 'childhood experiences' part in Veronica's part, so here I'll discuss the 'genetic's part...

For example...

I hadn't actually thought about it until a while ago while discussing it with a friend, but It's VERY likely that Irina got, or was at least at a much higher possibility of developing BPD because of her father.

Because looking at the things he did...he'd fit into at LEAST 7 of the symptoms.

All he ever did was either go out drinking and doing drugs (impulsive, self-destructive behavior with no regard for his own health or safety) or stay home watching TV. Both, I think, could very well be an example of that 'chronic feelings of emptiness' thing; he wanted to find something to fill the void with.

I also think he sometimes just bought random stuff he thought was cool, both as another example of that emptiness, but also of the thing with constant shifting self-image.

And unstable relationships, mood swings and explosive anger... There's an OVERABUNDANCE of evidence for that.

Spike

Like I said, I'm not 100% sure about Spike yet... I don't think he's ENTIRELY neurotypical though...

I don't think it's autism...

I'm thinking maybe some sort of learning disability? A few SYMPTOMS of ADHD???

...I don't know...

But there's SOMETHING here...I can just feel it

Junia

Is autistic, has dyslexia and dyscalculia

Her dyslexia and dyscalculia are pretty straight-forward. She has a lot of trouble reading: to her, letters, and numbers too, always just refuse to stay still on the page, shfting and jumping around so much it makes most texts illegible to her. Even though she tried to learn to read...she barely can.

Which lead to all her peers making fun of her when she was a child, calling her stupid for not being able to read or do math.

She's never been super good at reading the room; she can usually discern whether the mood is positive or negative, but not much else. And only really if people are being honest. She can pick up on individual people's moods pretty well though. At least, unless they're actively TRYING to hide it.

She learned to read people's emotions pretty ok because she's very empathetic, and also because her mother's expression was often a sign of if Junia had done something 'wrong' or 'weird' again...and she wanted to make her mother happy, and do things 'right.'

She's quite gullible, and trusting, always believing people have good intentions. She's a bit more cautious than, say, Kalim, because her mother always told her not to trust strangers so easily. But when someone is in front of her, and being nice to her, she just feels bad thinking they could be suspicious, so it doesn't take too long for her to start to become more comfortable around them.

It's happened before that people she thought were her friends were just her 'friends' to make fun of her behind her back.

Often, her trains of thought make no sense to others around her.

She's always liked things other thought of as 'weird'. Like for example having a huge love of flowers- almost all of which don't even grow underwater- and cats- which DEFINITELY don't live underwater. But also things people consider 'scary' like horror! Whenever she's seen a big monster in a story, she's never been scared of it, instead seeing it as a friend.

Because people have always struggled to understand her, and called her weird, she's always felt like an outsider, even when she was surrounded by people. So she feels more at home with monsters, and cats, and most things that AREN'T people. And monsters in particular, because they can understand what it feels like to be different.

In fact, when she was little, she dreamed of marrying a monster, thinking what good friends they'd be.

She doesn't really 'mask'...it's more that she's just silent more often than if no one had ever reacted negatively to her openly being herself. Because of the weird looks she used to get when she spoke her mind, she just...doesn't, anymore. At least, not unless she considers someone her friend.

As an example, she feels comfortable speaking her mind, no matter how 'weird' it might sound, with the rest of the Pop Music Club. Probably because Kalim is likely very similar to her in that regard, and Lilia kinda is too, since fae have a different way of thinking than most non-fae people. It's mostly just Cater who sometimes has trouble understanding what she's thinking or what she means.

Lisle

He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Info from mayoclinic.org, again, since they're basically my best friend when it comes to this stuff

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.

Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:

Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.

Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.

Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.

Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.

Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.

Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.

Take advantage of others to get what they want.

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.

Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.

React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.

Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.

Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.

Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.

Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.

Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure."

Lisle is, again, say it with me now, just pretty good at hiding all of this, to the point where most people don't realize this is what's going on in his head. He himself had no idea about it.

I think, after his Overblot, he'd be made to go to therapy of some kind, where he'd start to find out more about this and his own troubles in his personal relationships with others.

I don't think his fundamentally selfish mindset would ever really change; it's just part of him. And since he still does treat people pretty well, for Lisle, it's not exactly something that's TOO much of an issue.

Veronica

Also has Borderline Personality Disorder

She has the 'Petulant' subtype. For her meaning the symptoms that manifest stronger in her are the 'explosive anger'

The Petulant subtype is most often characterized by: Passive aggressive behaviors, directing anger outward, a feeling that it's the world- not the person- who is at fault, unpredictable moodswings, and a need to feel in control.

She feels constantly angry, at both the world AND at herself, often with no clear cause or reasoning.

I'm only just now, after reading through a lot of stuff I wrote her saying as part of other fandom settings, am I realizing just how…I guess 'mellow' Veronica currently is compared to what she used to be when she was younger?

Like… look at these quotes:

"Why do you care? What, is it a crime to read a book now?"

Veronica becomes angry "You— you think I hadn't thought of that? I can't! That's why I fucking asked you in the first place! Ugh, just, forget it! I'll go read a book about it or something." And she storms away.

This was her attitude all the time, on a regular basis, with EVERYONE. Talk to her, no matter the topic, and it's very likely you'll be yelled at, with her taking everything as having insulting or malicious intent, which also handily ticks off the 'feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality' symptom.

She was always just— so angry. Angry because she couldn't really trust anyone but herself, so she was always stuck in 'defense' mode. So now that she actually has friends she trusts and respects, who trust and respect her too, and she has her brother back, it's like she feels more safe.

And she definitely swore way more before NRC, even though she still swears a lot now. Credit to Vil for that.

It really goes to show what a good support system and learning to better manage that anger can do for people with BPD.

And now, for the thing about 'childhood experiences' playing some part of it... Though first- I do think it could be possible that her mother having a few traits of it, such as intense emotions, could also be part of it for Veronica.

But for people with BPD, when it comes to trauma, it's thought that a disruption in attachment at an early age could cause it For Veronica...take your pick, really.

Losing her parents, then her brother, and then her father... Any one of them could have brought about SOME of it...so just imagine what all three of them, along with the disorienting experience of basically being 'thrown out of the nest' before she was ready- being sent to that school halfway across the country, where she knew no one and nothing was familiar to her, after having gone through so many already traumatic losses...and then add to that her original teacher having provided her no comfort.

Victor

Has SYMPTOMS OF Antisocial Personality Disorder

According to the medical website Mayclinic.org:

"Symptoms of antisocial personality disorder include repeatedly:

Ignoring right and wrong.

Telling lies to take advantage of others.

Not being sensitive to or respectful of others.

Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or pleasure.

Having a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated.

Having problems with the law, including criminal behavior.

Being hostile, aggressive, violent or threatening to others.

Feeling no guilt about harming others.

Doing dangerous things with no regard for the safety of self or others.

Being irresponsible and failing to fulfill work or financial responsibilities.

Adults with antisocial personality disorder usually show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, ongoing behavior problems, such as:

Aggression toward people and animals.

Destruction of property.

Lying and dishonesty.

Theft.

Serious violation of rules.

Antisocial personality disorder is considered a lifelong condition. But in some people, certain symptoms ― particularly destructive and criminal behavior ― may decrease over time. It's not clear whether this decrease is a result of the effect aging has on their mind and body, an increased awareness of the impact that antisocial behavior has had on their life, or other factors."

Though I would add that, the fact that Victor actually has a very good sense of what is and is not societally appropriate is why I only said he has SYMPTOMS of it, since I'm not a doctor, and thus wouldn't know if that would or would not make him applicable for a diagnosis.

Artemisia

Is autistic, has ADD (like ADHD, but the MIND is hyperactive rather than the body), anxiety, and depression

As her ADD pertains, she has a habit of getting lost in her thoughts quite often. Or a book. She has difficulty focusing on multiple things at a time, and can feel overwhelmed if there's a lot that needs to be done. But so long as she just decides to pick ONE thing to focus on, it usually winds up ok, though it does make her stressed.

The anxiety is mostly SOCIAL anxiety, and for a pretty clear reason, that being her past experiences WITH people. But still anxiety, so I think it counts.

Depression... It's something she's struggled with since she was pretty young.

Shutting yourself into your room for years on end with nothing to do each day except read books doesn't exactly create the best conditions for good mental health.

She's legitimately had suicidal thoughts for many years, since she thought she had no reason to live. She never tried anything, though, because she just didn't want to. For her it more manifested as a lot of escapism through books. That or just sleeping for a whole day.

It's started to get a bit better now though. More stable. Now she has friends like Idia, Silver and Sebek. Idia knows exactly what all that stuff feels like, Silver tries his best to understand despite not having felt them himself, and Sebek tries to get her to do more stuff outside of her room. So she has a lot of supportive people around her, and she's grateful for it.

Because she doesn't want to keep feeling like that...she does want to feel ok.

She's never been good at understanding the emotions of other people. She can understand simple expresssions, but not automatically. It's a bit stilted, like someone who didn't grow up learning a specific language learning to read it; it's a manual process, instead of an automatic one. And since she's unable to pick up on things unless they're expressed in words, she ends up not knowing

She's always been completely unable to understand subtext unless she has it spelled out for her. She's also thus very bad at knowing when she's being lied to. She's so used to living in a world of only her- and she's the type who always tells the truth no matter what, and to her it's just a foregone conclusion that it's the good and rational thing to do- that others being capable of deception isn't a thought that enters her mind often. At least, not when she herself is involved.

Even if she sees a discrepancy in the things someone said and did, she always assumes they must have just misspoken, or made some other mistake, or not realized it. She assumes there has to be a reason for it.

It just doesn't come naturally to her to think someone could be operating in bad faith.

She also has a lot of sensory issues. Her senses of touch and hearing are VERY sensitive. One of the reason she doesn't like crowds is because she kinda has no 'filter' for her ears-- she hears EVERYTHING around her; the ticking of the clock, the humming of the lights, and the conversation on the other side of the room. None of it ever becomes 'just background noise' to her.

And she can't stand it when most people, even those she likes, touch her. She always refuses to shake people's hands because her sense of touch is so sensitive that it often ends up overwhelming her and making her uncomfortable. This also leads to her being unable to wear an item of clothing unless the tag has been removed, because otherwise how uncomfortable it feels is all she can focus on.

Tagging @angelwishess BC ANGEL MADE ME DO THIS-- /hj

#🌻tomoe #🐰irina #🥊spike #🐚junia #😇lisle #🐝veronica #🩸victor #🦢artemisia #moony's ocs

12 notes · View notes

cyber-phobia · 6 months ago

Note

Hello! I need help looking for a fic, this is a long ask so sorry about that! I'm really desperate to find this fic so I wanna give out as many details as I can remember.

Even if it's deleted it would help a lot of any of you at least had a name or author, as I can try and search for an archive.

Here are some warnings just in case:

// Suicide mentions, child abandonment mentions

I don't exactly remember how the fic started, but I remember that Inko is neglectful in this fic. Hisashi goes to America bc of Izuku's quirklessness, and while he and Inko stay married, as they still love each other, he just wants nothing to do with Izuku. Inko stays but after a while Hisashi starts sending her care packages, with letters he wrote over the years, plushies all that stuff.

She eventually decides to move with Hisashi, but leaves Izuku behind bc "Izuku is old enough to take care of himself" (He's like 14-16?). She pays the apartment's rent and send money for food and such but Izuku stays alone and it affects him badly.

Inko and Hisashi live very happily in America and pretend they don't have a son, but one day Hisashi loses his job and they're forced to make budget cuts, which includes Izuku. They send less and less money to the point where Izuku has to get a job, and then eventually they cut him out.

Izuku due to the very limited money was not able to afford High School and instead started working at a grocery shop, but due to his depression, he ends up losing his job due to not showing up in a week I think?

He decides that he's just tired. Its just not worth it, he will be kicked out soon, so he commits suicide in the bathtub.

That's where the first part of the story ends

If it helps someone identify the fic, then part 2 is:

After finding out Izuku is dead, Inko and Hisashi decide to go back to Japan to make the processes needed. They get Izuku cremated and buy a cheap space in an urn cemetery thing. They don't even put up a photo, just a plaque and the urn.

They go to the Bakugo's to inform them what happened, as they will be going back to America right after. Hisashi is very pissed and doesn't care for Izuku, while Inko feels a little remorse and admits she was a bad mother (She specifically tells Mitsuki "We were bad parents), but otherwise is just ready to leave too.

The Bakugo's had thought Izuku had gone to America with his mom, so they never checked on him, and are obviously pissed about what happened. Inko and Hisashi leave and Katsuki is very upset.

He goes to the cemetery where they put Izuku and feels sad about how barren the whole thing is. Katsuki brings a photo to decorate it a little.

I don't remember what he does later but he shares Izuku's story somehow and it gets popular, with people leaving gifts for Izuku in his grave. It gets to the point that even All Might hears about it and in his small form, visits Izuku to pay his respects.

This part ends in a somewhat happy note talking about how Izuku's grave is filled with the hero merch he loved.

That's it as far as I'm aware. I would really really appreciate any details from this story please!! I can look for an archive myself if it's deleted, I just need a name and/or author.

Thank you so much and I'm sorry for the long post I'm just desperate.

#fic search #bnha fic

20 notes · View notes

ganondoodle · 1 year ago

Text

some random ideas for the totk rewritten project

krog (korok) seeds

i think i found a way to include krog seeds even if i reintroduced bags for expanding your inventory- what if the krog seeds are redeemed for the amiibo sets and maybe a few new things? that way you are not forced to engage with krog puzzles if you are tired of them and its not essential either, you can choose what armor set you want instead of being "surpised" by the same link hat three times in a row for fighting your way through the depths (like i was lol)

considering im rewriting the krog forest to be like a minidungeon with a unique miniboss and boss AND you start the quest for restoring the master sword there i think that this is acceptable

what if one of the expensive rewards was a krog armor set that includes the mask from the botw DLC but adds two more pieces, its effect could be to turn invisible as the krogs are to most people; considering how they are not invisible to everyone it could still work with important NPCs still seeing you AND you could run through monster camps without them chasing you if you just want to get through without you attacking them- since its expensive you gotta gather alot of krog seeds to buy it meaning it wouldnt make encounters much easier bc you have to fight alot of monsters before being able to afford it anyway and the effect is removed once you attack an enemy .... or maybe once you are spotted you can stand still and the effect restores itself nhfkjdnkjfdk

food + storage

to raise the difficulty a little i thought about bringing bottles back, they are physical items this time with a limited number and are able to store medicine and soup that has no expiration date; personally i like cooking tho so i want to keep it, maybe with the effect of being a bit more limited in number and, while not spoiling completely, it loses some of its effectiveness over time

how you use them im not yet sure, either the same way in inventory (which i think i will go for since i dont want to change it that drastically and with the added balance of limitation i think that is still fine) or on some kind of item wheel you can set yourself like in skyward sword

there are bags you can find as bigger items that will expand your weapon, shield or bow inventory slots, perhaps a small bag gives you one and a big one two slots- it would be a bigger and different reward for exploring or quests and fills the spot for inventory expansion

theres a chest in links house (i thought maybe links house is still links but they built onto it so zelda has a place to stay as well, like a bigger/double house) that can hold armor sets if you dont want to keep carrying all of them around but dont want to sell them either

repairable weapons through zelda

weapons still break but are full weapons again, i found the excuse of them all being useless now through the cataclysm ... somehow for some reason a pretty blatant way for forcing you to fuse stuff bc its literally the only viable thing to do, but i like the idea of inventing new weapons with materials; to balance it out and give you an incentive to help out your friends i figured that at first weapons still break, but in each region is a smith that can teach zelda (who is your companion in this rewrite) how to repair weapons of a certain type (zora, spear, goron, two handed, rito, bows, gerudo, one handed-- perhaps it is a longer quest of idk .. bringing certain weapons to those smith or similar) which she can do anywhere outside combat;

how broken the weapon is determines how much extra material she may need to do it- im still working on it but i got the idea of the status of the weapon being symbolized in three stages, fine, damaged and broken; damaged is the one that needs less material to fix up, broken costs more- a broken one might still occupy an inventory slot but is unusable or very very bad damage wise, you can throw it away either manually or when you try to pick up a new one you can choose if you want to swap it out (just like they did with stuff from chests in totk .. idk why they didnt add that to in game weapons lying on the ground too) or choose to keep it and repair it once you are out of combat

arrow types

i dont like the menuing in totk for the arrows ... it was one of the most frustrating things to deal with (especialyl bc it sorted your inventory too??? when you used the sorting in the quick menu???) so i wanted to change that a little, havign to go into the quick menu everytime for each arrow i find tedious too, so;

there are more arrow types but they are craftable with arrows and materials, you can craft them in bulk out of combat (the typical types from botw -fire,eletric,ice,bombs- but then add those confusion ones, wind, the cloudy shroom thingy, poison .. perhaps a few more if i can think of more but not too mayn to not clutter it again)

enigma stones function

i wanted to change how enigma stones function somewhat, they dont "enhance" the ability of the champion/sage (i still wanna call them chmapions bc thats what they areeeee) it allows them to link an ability of theirs to link without the orginal champion having to be present or dead, the stones come in set of two each and function somewhat like a magic communication between the player and the champion, once you obtain the second piece its embedded into links shiekah arm prosthetic (also something of my rewrite) and allow him to call upon their ability at will through a second selection wheel

ranch ruins

the ranch ruins i wanted to be rebuild (bc thats cool and i thought restoration was a theme? lol) and maybe you help rebuild it proper and as thanks you can put your horses there to roam around all at once when not taken out to ride, not a big gameplay thing but a neat quest with a rebuilding thing of a building we havent seen in its prime and a neat addition of letting you see all your horsies at once :)

(totk rewritten project)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rewrites totk #kinda random ideas thrown around but i kinda like this direction #makign it all a little more streamlined while not removing too much of its core #also adressing some issues from botw #while also giving them a little more substance #ngl im actualyl thinking of omitting the building aspect as a whole ........#its impressive for sure but i dont know if this kind of game is truly the best place for that #i hoenstly think all those ideas are both really cool- work well and would have been doable with that time and money nintendo got #i dont want to be too proud of myself though so im open for constructive feedback on what you think about this #(´。＿。｀)

78 notes · View notes